Adjusting to New Environments: JB's Monday Momentum #22
Practical Tips and Insights for Thriving in New Surroundings
Estimated reading time: twelve minutes
Welcome to Monday Momentum, the weekly newsletter where I discuss practical wisdom, uncovering insights to enhance our lives one thoughtful moment at a time. While I have confidence in the ideas I write about, I am still learning them. I acknowledge that what works for me may not work for everyone. Take each idea as you see fit and let me know what you think!
Hello friends,
As you probably know, I lived in the Netherlands for three years. I'm proud of this experience and enjoy talking about it because it taught me invaluable lessons about establishing myself in a completely foreign environment. My friends from these years, many of whom have moved cross-continent multiple times, understand this better than anyone. That's why this week, I'm doing something new: you'll hear from six of my best friends. Each will share a part of their story and offer wisdom on making life in a new environment enjoyable rather than intimidating. I hope you enjoy their insights. A lot of us share similar ideas which only makes me more confident in what they have to say.
If you missed last week’s edition—“Goodbyes Should Be Hard”—you can click here to check it out.
A Question I am Contemplating:
How can embracing the unknown in a new environment catalyze personal growth?
Before I hand this off to my buddies, I’d like to share my thoughts on settling into a new environment.
Moving to a new place is hard—there's no way around that. The initial challenges can feel overwhelming, but embracing them with optimism1 and treating the experience as an opportunity can make the process enjoyable, rewarding, and even fun. It's all about perspective. The excitement of a fresh start, the thrill of the unknown, and the chance to reinvent yourself can transform the daunting into the exhilarating.
One of the most liberating aspects of moving to a new environment is the opportunity to reinvent yourself. If there are aspects of your identity you’re unsatisfied with, a new place offers a clean slate. You can redefine who you are, adopt new habits and attitudes, and become the person you’ve always wanted to be. This fresh start is a rare gift, allowing you to shed old limitations and embrace new possibilities.
The unknown can be intimidating, but it's also a crucial part of the human experience. Few things in life offer the complete sense of the unknown like moving to a foreign place. Cherish this feeling. It’s special because it doesn’t happen often, yet it's as important as more common experiences and feelings. Uncertainty can teach us to live in the moment and appreciate the journey we're on.
But at the same time, there is only unknown. Ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, once said, "No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."2 This wisdom highlights that we're always encountering new environments because our surroundings constantly change and we constantly change. Every day brings a new set of circumstances, and every interaction is a chance to learn and grow. This constant flux can be intimidating, but it's also freeing. It reminds us that we're all in the same boat—none of us know exactly what we’re doing. Embrace this shared experience, step out of your comfort zone, and engage in those awkward interactions. Only by pushing past the initial resistance and acknowledging our shared ignorance can we transform the unknown into the opportunity it is meant to be.
In the short term, it is often the environment that shapes the player, determining who does well. But in the long run, it is the player that shapes the environment. This interplay between adapting to a new place and eventually influencing it highlights the transformative power of our actions and attitudes. Initially, we might feel overwhelmed by our new surroundings, but over time, our contributions and presence can leave a lasting impact on the environment itself.
Settling into a new environment is about more than just adapting; it’s about thriving. It’s about recognizing that while the process may be challenging, it’s also filled with potential for personal growth and discovery. It’s about understanding that every goodbye leads to a new hello, and every end marks a new beginning.3 By approaching the unknown with curiosity and openness, we can turn the challenges of settling into a new environment into some of the most rewarding experiences of our lives.
Now, I’ll leave it to my friends to share their ideas.
Sebastian Oertel, IE University, studying economics — previous places lived include Geneva, Bangkok, New York, The Hague:
Settling into a new environment is a struggle that I am no stranger to. Since I have moved around a fair bit, I’ve always had to adapt to my environment. This means embracing different cultures, making new friends, and completely changing my routine. Many people understand that this is no small feat. Humans naturally resist change and often view it as a threat rather than an opportunity. While there is some truth to that—living in a new environment can be scary—it’s also a chance for growth.
Flourishing in a new environment is tough, but it’s important to step outside your comfort zone. By embracing change and viewing obstacles as opportunities, you can transform your experience. The struggle against change will soon become a distant memory as you make new friends and adapt to a new way of life. Change is inevitable, so instead of resisting it, I encourage myself to welcome it.
Pedro Camargo, TU Delft, studying aerospace — previous places lived include Brazil, Netherlands:
Hey y’all, for those who don't know me, my name is Pedro. I had the pleasure of attending ASH with James. Before this, I lived in Brazil, where I am from.
Moving from Brazil to the Netherlands was a big challenge for me. I didn't speak English or Dutch and was completely unfamiliar with American and European cultures. Making friends was especially hard, not only because of the language barrier but also due to my introverted personality. One of the most helpful pieces of advice I received when moving to a new environment, which I still hold onto, is that everyone is in the same boat as you. When moving to a new school, country, or job, people focus a lot on themselves. They worry about their appearance, are nervous about speaking, or fear an unwelcoming reaction from others. It’s important to realize that all these feelings, including the butterflies in your stomach that may start days before you enter your new environment, are common to most, if not all, people. Your peers are also trying to make a good first impression and are nervous about making friends.
When I moved to the Netherlands, I spent the whole week before the first day of school anxious and nervous. Once the first day arrived, I still hadn't relaxed much. Even after a week of orientation where new students get settled, I hadn’t made any friends. It took me quite a while, but when I did, I became very happy and cherish these friendships to this day.
The conclusion to draw from this is to not let yourself suffer from anticipation. Settling into a new environment is stressful enough, so until then, enjoy where you are. In the words of Bob Marley, "Everything will be alright." The start can be rocky, but it is important to have patience and persist. If I had given up after orientation week, I would have never made the friends I did. Once again, everyone is in the same boat as you (or was at one point). All the nervousness and anxiety you feel, they feel too, so relax a bit and put yourself out there.
Matthew Smith, Embry Riddle Aeronautical University, studying aerospace — previous places lived include Atlanta, Amsterdam:
I was born and grew up in the southeastern United States, spending 17 years there without ever imagining leaving the country. My friends, family, work, and school were all there, so the idea of leaving seemed crazy. However, the summer before my senior year of high school, my father’s company moved us to the Netherlands. I was initially very upset about this sudden change. Spending my senior year in a completely new country and environment without my friends seemed far from ideal. Despite the difficult timing and the challenges of adjusting, I eventually came to call the Netherlands my “second home.” This was thanks to the amazing friends I made at my new school, learning to love a new culture, and embracing the change with my family.
All that said, change is difficult. I’m no stranger to this. Even when change feels like the least desirable option and overwhelming, it always works out. My time in the Netherlands has been nothing short of memorable and special. As I prepare to return to the United States, I look back on my time in the Netherlands with deep appreciation.
So my advice to anyone facing a difficult change is to embrace it. Don’t let it bring you down. Instead, soak in all the experiences and let them shape you into a better person.
Erwan DeGroote, Universitat de Barcelona, studying medicine — previous places lived include France, Germany, Netherlands:
Moving can be a challenging experience because it often means leaving behind loved ones and familiar routines. However, it also presents unforgettable opportunities to meet new people and create new experiences. When entering a new environment, it's important to keep an open mind. This mindset enables you to settle in and make the most of the opportunity.
Gaspard Saisse, University of Twente, studying technology and liberal arts and sciences — previous places lived include France, Indonesia, Spain, Netherlands:
Reflecting on my numerous changes in schools, countries, and communities, I've noticed certain similarities throughout my experiences. At the start, making friends was always my main goal, and I observed that people try to fit in in different ways. Some show off their talents in sports or academics, some try to be loud to gain attention, and some simply wait for the right people. I find that the latter approach is the most effective, as it allows you to surround yourself with people you can relate to, have interesting conversations with, and enjoy various activities with.
Over the last five years at the American School of The Hague, I've seen my friend group change, grow, and shrink. In the end, the people who remain are like brothers to me. I know I can count on them, and they know they can count on me, no matter the situation.
A golden rule for friendship is that it's better to have a few very good friends than a large group of acquaintances. I was lucky to have a large group of close friends. Good things come in time. For me, it took a few months to make my first good friends, but a few years to find people I could fully trust.
Adam-Hanna Sawan, McGill University, studying economics and mathematics — previous places lived include Lebanon, Netherlands, London, Qatar, New Orleans, Houston, Netherlands, London4:
I believe the scariest and most exciting part of the human experience is embracing change. As arduous and emotional as it has been to adapt to new environments throughout my life, having moved seven times, with three continental shifts, I genuinely could not be more grateful for the experiences.
Each time I moved, I struggled. I never really wanted to see a new environment, regardless of how long I had been in the previous one. But as I grew up, I noticed the beauty of this lifestyle and the opportunities it has brought me. As you become more open to new environments, you naturally build one of the most powerful things—an international network. I'm not saying you need to move across the globe to do this, but simply having the curiosity to learn, immerse, see, and meet new cultures and people is a powerful mentality to carry with you. Whether you’re living in or just visiting a new environment, I cannot stress this enough.
Acclimating to a new environment when I moved to the Netherlands from Houston, like James, was one of the toughest points in my life. I played for an all-Dutch football5 team and got bullied for looking and sounding different. It was tough, but as time went on, I found my people—a group of football players from all over the world, people I now consider family.
I then met my best friend, the author of this newsletter. James may not want to admit this, but he really didn't want to move.6 I reached out to him through a mutual friend before school started, asking if he wanted to play football with the boys and see what the environment was like. He (quite rudely) rejected it. Three years later, James has become the most cultured person I know, with an insatiable curiosity to learn about cultures he's never seen. He didn't just immerse himself in a Dutch environment; he and his family became more European than any Europeans I’ve met7. Traveling to a new country every month, eager to learn and see beyond a pretty monotone background; I’ve never seen anything like it. Going back to the US as a completely different person, I do not doubt that this move, which he once resented, fundamentally transformed his mindset—and the mindset of the friends he may make and influence—for the rest of his life.
I don’t have a guaranteed formula for success in adapting to new environments, but I’ve learned a lot from my experiences. The key is to balance staying connected to your past while embracing the present and future. In every place I’ve moved, I’ve fully committed to my new surroundings, seeking the positives in each change. Explore areas you wouldn’t usually visit, smile and greet strangers, ask locals questions, pursue new interests, and have the courage to introduce yourself to those around you. Having moved eight times, I don’t have a single place I call home. However, I’ve met countless people along the way who would welcome me into their homes. This raises the question: does embracing new environments mean you’ll have more homes than you ever imagined? Or none at all? The answer is neither. What truly matters is to love where you are while you’re there. Make that place your home, and you’ll gradually see how much it can enrich your life and change your perspective on your surroundings.
What has helped me most is holding onto constants that transcend change. This could be a sport (in my case, soccer), an instrument, or cooking. Immersing yourself in an environment completely will allow you to meet people who like the same things as you, regardless of where you are. Hold on to who you are in every environment you enter. That will be a superpower. As we grow older, we are bound to experience much change and see new environments. If we can allow ourselves to embrace it rather than resent it, the impact on all of our lives and careers will be remarkable.
Quote on new environments:
“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” – Deepak Chopra, New York Times bestselling Indian-American author
Goal for the Week:
Journal every day
I recently stopped journaling, but with many changes about to happen in my life, I want to start again. I don't want to feel overwhelmed by everything, and I find that journaling helps me manage it all.
The Trial — Franz Kafka (35% done)
Ego is the Enemy — Ryan Holiday (15% done)
What I’m listening to (one podcast, one artist, one song):
The Deep Life with Cal Newport: EP. 280: Proven Rules for Deep Living (With Arthur Brooks)
Zach Top
“One For The Road” — Johnny Blue Skies & Sturgill Simpson
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to subscribe to stay updated for the next edition and feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Take care,
James
This was the quote of the week in letter #6, “Conquering Change,” written by my friend Chase Brandt. It goes hand-in-hand with this week’s letter; I recommend you check it out. Also, since the publishing of that letter, Chase has started his own newsletter called “Quick Think”. It’s fantastic. I have linked it here.
He has lived in the Netherlands and London twice each.
Soccer, for the Americans.
While it is true that I did not want to move, Adam is exaggerating a bit. Despite my reluctance, I made an effort to maintain an open mindset throughout the entire process. For example, I would look for houses with my parents or consistently ask questions. It is these small acts that allowed me to accept my new circumstances.
This is nice of Adam to say because it was something my family emphasized, but “more European than any Europeans [he’s] met” seems like a bit of a stretch.
Good to see wise words from some voices I got to know the last three years. Each of these young men have the resilience and talent to succeed in any environment.
i adore this