Goodbyes Should Be Hard: JB's Monday Momentum #21
"When a goodbye is difficult, it signifies that the time spent, the relationships formed, and the experiences shared were meaningful."
Estimated reading time: four minutes
Welcome to Monday Momentum, the weekly newsletter where I discuss practical wisdom, uncovering insights to enhance our lives one thoughtful moment at a time. While I have confidence in the ideas I write about, I am still learning them. I acknowledge that what works for me may not work for everyone. Take each idea as you see fit and let me know what you think!
Hello friends,
As I leave the Netherlands, a place that has been my home for the past three years, I reflect on the concept of goodbyes. It's an act we sometimes don’t fully embrace, maybe because it’s uncomfortable or stirs up emotions we would rather keep in. Yet, goodbyes will always be part of life so learning to embrace them can offer us great insights.
If you missed last week’s edition—“Optimism Unleashed”—you can click here to check it out.
A Question I am Contemplating:
How do we find meaning in farewells, and what do they reveal about our experiences?
Goodbyes are fundamental to the human experience. They mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. When a goodbye is difficult, it signifies that the time spent, the relationships formed, and the experiences shared were meaningful. If parting ways feels effortless, perhaps what we are leaving behind did not truly touch our hearts. Thus, a hard goodbye is a testament to a rich and fulfilling journey; a hard goodbye is a good goodbye.
Goodbyes compel us to confront the transient nature of life. Nothing is permanent; everything changes. This can be sad, but it also brings clarity and appreciation for the present moment. When we know that our time in a place or with certain people is limited, we learn to value every moment1. Goodbyes remind us to live fully and love deeply, making the most of the time we have.
Goodbyes also foster a sense of gratitude.2 As we part ways with people and places, we often reflect on the experiences we've had and the lessons we've learned. This reflection can deepen our appreciation for the moments we might have otherwise taken for granted. Embracing goodbyes with a grateful heart allows us to cherish our memories and acknowledge the positive impact these experiences had on our lives.
While goodbyes are often associated with sadness and loss, they also present opportunities for growth and new beginnings. Leaving behind the familiar can be a catalyst for self-discovery and transformation. It pushes us out of our comfort zones, forcing us to adapt and evolve. Each goodbye paves the way for new adventures, new relationships, and new perspectives.
Acknowledging the difficulty of goodbyes is not something to shy away from. It’s natural to feel grief and longing when parting ways, and these emotions should not be suppressed. Instead, welcoming them allows us to process our experiences fully. By accepting the pain of goodbye, we honor the significance of what we are leaving behind. This acknowledgment helps us to move forward with a sense of closure and readiness for what lies ahead.
But also acknowledge—bear with me—there is no such thing as a true goodbye. Yes, we can stay in touch with people or revisit places, but that’s not exactly what I mean. The places we visit and the people we meet shape us, becoming part of our story and personal legacy. We carry pieces of them with us, consciously and subconsciously, making it impossible to fully say goodbye. When a farewell feels particularly difficult, remember this: reflecting on the influences that have shaped you and cherishing the memories of the people and places that have been part of your journey is a reminder that goodbyes are never final.
As I say goodbye to the Netherlands, I carry with me an abundance of memories and lessons learned. The friendships I’ve formed and the experiences I’ve had will forever be a part of who I am. While the goodbye is undoubtedly hard, it is also a powerful affirmation of a wonderful journey.
Goodbyes are not endings; they are beginnings. They challenge us to cherish our past, embrace our present, and look forward to the future with hope and optimism3. Let us face our goodbyes with courage and gratitude, knowing that each farewell is a stepping stone to new possibilities.
Quote on goodbyes:
“A stoic knows that nothing lasts forever and reflects on this daily, reminding themselves that only what is in the mind is owned by stoic, therefore rejoice in what you have learned and what you have experienced, you take these memories with you wherever you go. Your home is only in your mind.” — Seneca
Goal for the Week:
Go on a run a minimum of five times
After reading Can’t Hurt Me I can’t help but want to pick up running; the book that motivating. This week I aim to welcome discomfort and follow Goggins’ lead.
The Trial — Franz Kafka (22% done)
What I’m listening to (one podcast, one artist, one song):
Van Morrison
“Save It For Later” — Edie Vedder
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to subscribe to stay updated for the next edition and feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Take care,
James
Take a look at edition #15, “Making the Most of Limited Time”, if this idea interests you. Understanding what is said there will help ensure fulfilling goodbyes.
More on gratitude in edition #13, “Grateful Living”.
Check out last week’s edition, “Optimism Unleashed” for more on optimism, where I try to make a case for why an optimistic life is a good life.