Strength in Vulnerability: JB's Monday Momentum (on a Wednesday) #35
Finding clarity, connection, and calm through vulnerability
Estimated reading time: four minutes
Welcome to Monday Momentum, the weekly newsletter where I discuss practical wisdom, uncovering insights to enhance our lives one thoughtful moment at a time. While I have confidence in the ideas I write about, I am still learning them. I acknowledge that what works for me may not work for everyone. Take each idea as you see fit and let me know what you think!
Hello friend,
Two weeks ago, I wrote about grief. Since then, that letter has reached more people and received more heartfelt feedback than anything I’ve written since starting this newsletter. I’m incredibly grateful for all the kind words, but more than anything, I’ve realized that vulnerability is essential to connection and understanding.
In my eyes, that was the most vulnerable piece I’ve ever shared. This week, I want to explore that idea more—why vulnerability matters, and how it ties back to the themes I touched on in letter #34.
If you missed the last edition—“Grappling with Grief”—you can click here to check it out.
A Question I am Contemplating:
Why is vulnerability so important during heavy times?
Vulnerability is difficult. It means letting people see parts of you you’re not used to showing. Not just the cleaned-up versions, but the parts you usually keep tucked away. Hurt, fear, doubt. Things you might not even fully understand yourself. It’s easier to act like everything’s fine. It’s easier to hold it all in, to say “I’m good” when you’re not.
However, I know when I’ve let people in during hard moments—really let them in—those moments become more manageable (sometimes even enjoyable). But when I’ve stayed silent, kept it all to myself, those were the times I felt the heaviest. When you shut it down, it doesn’t make the hurt go away, it just makes you feel it alone.
In my last letter, I wrote, “The best thing you can do is let yourself be human. Let yourself cry. Sit in the silence. Laugh when something’s funny. Hurt when it hurts.” This no doubt takes vulnerability. Letting yourself be human means letting yourself be seen. Not hiding behind composure. Not pretending you’ve got it all figured out. Just being honest about what you’re feeling, even when it’s hard. Doing that isn’t weakness, it’s strength of a different kind.
As personal as it feels, that kind of vulnerability is also what opens the door to healing and deeper connection. On the surface, we live different lives. But underneath, most people have felt some version of what you’re feeling—loss, confusion, fear, anger. The details change, but the emotions are usually familiar. When you understand that, being vulnerable starts to feel less scary. There’s less to prove. Less to hide. That reminder alone can make it a little easier to speak honestly, or simply let yourself feel what you’re feeling.
Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, has spent over two decades studying the human experience, specifically how shame, empathy, courage, and vulnerability shape the way we connect with ourselves and others. Her work is grounded in thousands of interviews and years of research. One insight of hers I really appreciate is this: “We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability … The problem is that you cannot selectively numb emotion.”1 In other words, when we shut down hard feelings—grief, fear, sadness—we also shut down the good ones. You can’t numb pain and still feel joy. You can’t guard yourself from heartbreak and still expect to feel deep connection. In times of loss, when life already feels dim, we need every bit of light we can get. Vulnerability is what keeps that light within reach.
Jocko Willink, a retired Navy SEAL known for preaching discipline and mental toughness, describes grief as a storm. The kind that shows up out of nowhere. A song, a memory, a place that suddenly pulls you back and overwhelms you. The hard part is, you can’t control it, but you can let it move through you. These waves may not disappear, but they soften over time. That’s part of what vulnerability gives us. It doesn’t stop the waves, but it helps us stay open to them; it helps us ride them instead of pretending they’re not there.
If you’re carrying something heavy, you don’t have to explain it, but you don’t have to keep it buried either. Letting even a small part of it out—through words, through presence, through silent reflection—can make the weight easier to bear. And allowing yourself to feel it might be the best place to start. Not to get over it, but to begin moving forward.2
Quote on vulnerability:
“What happens when people open their hearts?"
"They get better.” — Haruki Murakami
Goal for the Week:
Allow myself to be present and enjoy where I am
This weekend, I’m going out on a short trip with two of my closest friends, and next week I’ll be in Europe spending time with my high school buddies from the Netherlands. After a long month, my goal is to be fully present. I want to give myself permission to enjoy where I am and who I’m with. These are moments I don’t want to miss, and I owe it to myself to soak them in.
Letters From a Stoic — Seneca (50% done)
Tuesdays with Morrie — Mitch Albom (75% done)
What I’m listening to (one podcast, one artist, one song):
Huberman Lab: Healing From Grief & Loss | Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor
Flipturn
“Lover of the Light” — Mumford and Sons
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Take care,
James
Good stuff man🙌
Beautiful insight, I miss Jammy and am in all the feels this week. Loved this read, “we live in a vulnerable world” no more being numb. Just Wow. Great writing James 💕