Redefining Rejection: JB's Monday Momentum Week #10
A Path to Personal Growth
Estimated reading time: three minutes
Hello friends,
I applied to seven schools. Getting rejected by five of them... that's tough. It sucks, plain and simple. While I didn't expect acceptance from all seven schools, I did anticipate more positive outcomes. I dedicated so much effort to get a spot at the schools and I truly believe I demonstrated my worth to them and deserved admission. However, I don't intend to dwell in self-pity here; rejection is an unavoidable part of life. Whether it's from a school, a job, or a person, we all face rejection at some point. It's never easy, especially when you know you're qualified and deserving. Instead of seeking sympathy, let's focus on learning from rejection.
If you missed last week’s edition—“Maximizing the Moment”—you can click here to check it out.
A Question I am Contemplating:
How can we respond to rejection?
As I was saying, rejection is an inevitable part of life that presents us with an opportunity for reflection and personal growth. In week four, we discussed adversity, but now I aim to go deeper into the theme of rejection and its impact on our development.
I’ll start with this because this is the groundwork for my beliefs on rejection: Understanding that the suffering you are going through now will ultimately contribute to your future success should serve as a source of encouragement. Every rejection has a silver lining; it's an opportunity to emerge stronger and more resilient than before.
When faced with rejection, the first step is taking responsibility and being accountable for our efforts and outcomes. It’s a harsh reality — no one owes you anything. While you may believe you deserve something, it doesn't mean you are entitled to it. Instead of solely attributing undesired outcomes to external factors, it's crucial to recognize our role in the process; your actions were the primary influence on the final decision, not the factors beyond your control. By embracing accountability, we empower ourselves to identify where we went wrong and learn from our experiences.
However, even when we give our best, rejections are bound to happen; you can make all the right decisions and sometimes still fall short of your goals. It is essential not to let this defeat you. View rejection as a chance for growth. Use the disappointment you feel as fuel to push yourself forward, understanding that each setback is a stepping stone toward future success. Use that chip on your shoulder to prove the doubters wrong! This could involve asking questions, reflecting, adding another bullet point to your resume, or continuously pushing yourself. Let rejection serve as a driving force to propel you towards a version of yourself that surpasses all previous expectations.
When faced with rejection, it is natural to experience a range of emotions such as anger, frustration, and disappointment. These feelings are valid and deserve acknowledgment. Allow yourself to experience them fully but do not let them overwhelm you. Like the chip on your shoulder, channel the energy from these emotions into propelling yourself forward with renewed determination and resilience. A balanced outlook enables us to approach our experiences with greater ease. With time, you may find that the lows don't feel so low, and the highs, though enjoyable, do not disrupt your inner stability1.
Quote on Rejection:
“A good person dyes events with his own color…and turns whatever happens to his own benefit.” — Seneca
Goal for the Week:
Read the news
I try to do this to some extent, but not as much as I'd like. I don't think it's good to be overly focused on the news, but I’d still like to know what's happening around me, especially in the realm of finance; building a habit of keeping up with financial news is a goal of mine. I also find that reading the news is an easy alternative to endlessly scrolling through social media.
What I’m Reading:
Discipline Is Destiny — Ryan Holiday (6% done)
Giovanni’s Room — James Baldwin (61% done)
When Breath Becomes Air — Paul Kalanithi (51% done)
What I’m listening to (one podcast, one artist, two songs):
Barleyjuice2
“Highway Queen” — Mt. Joy
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to subscribe to stay updated for next week and feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Take care,
James
If you like this particular idea, I recommend you take a look at The Story of the Zen Farmer.
Potatoes…
Wise beyond your years -- it took me a lot longer than your 18 years to have the personal accountability that you articulate. Where one door closes, another opens; find that new door.
Lovin this post, James. I appreciate your honest in that first line - an invitation to keep reading. Jia Jiang wrote a book about his goal of being rejected 100 times in 100 days and discovered it was the best way to overcome his social anxiety. I am almost finished the book you lent me... : /