Dare to be Different: JB's Monday Momentum (on a Wednesday) #32
Finding Fulfillment in Individuality and Nonconformity
Estimated reading time: four minutes
Welcome to Monday Momentum, the weekly newsletter where I discuss practical wisdom, uncovering insights to enhance our lives one thoughtful moment at a time. While I have confidence in the ideas I write about, I am still learning them. I acknowledge that what works for me may not work for everyone. Take each idea as you see fit and let me know what you think!
Hello friends,
When I started Monday Momentum during my senior year of high school, it wasn’t exactly what everyone else was doing; launching a personal newsletter isn't typically the popular choice for a teenager. Yet, over a year later, I can confidently say it has provided me with an immense sense of fulfillment. One of the main reasons it started was because I decided to follow my genuine interests rather than conforming to what was considered "normal."
If you missed the last edition—“Good for Them, Good for You”—you can click here to check it out.
A Question I am Contemplating:
Why do we sacrifice what makes us special for the comfort of fitting in?
One of the biggest obstacles to achieving true fulfillment and meaningful success is the desire to fit in—to conform to expectations, to be "normal." But normalcy, while comforting, rarely results in the exceptional. Chris Williamson captures this perfectly:
“It is astounding how many people want to be spectacular in life but also want to fit in and be normal. By being normal, you are aiming for average. Normal people get normal results, weird people get weird results. You literally can't do what everyone else does and not expect to get what everyone else has. By doing what everyone else does, you guarantee average results.”
To achieve anything extraordinary, you have to embrace individualism. You have to be willing to step outside the comfort zone of conformity, even if it initially feels awkward or risky. The fear of standing out is natural—we're biologically wired to seek belonging within tribes. One reason we join groups is for a sense of security and identity, whether it's a political affiliation, a fraternity or sorority, or even our own families. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Belonging to something larger than ourselves provides comfort and connection.
But there's an important distinction between finding comfort in belonging and allowing your identity within these groups to limit your personal ambitions and authenticity. We should never sacrifice who we are or what we genuinely desire for fear of deviating from the crowd. Doing something purely because everyone else is doing it is an assured path to mediocrity.
In an essay1 I recently read, the author articulated this point like so:
"Normal behavior costs nothing in the short term but disappears into the memory abyss. Unconventional weird behavior costs a price in the short term—but the actions live on as story assets in the future…Normal is forgotten. Only weird survives."
Think about the stories you hear about innovation, in history books, or at graduations. They're never stories of someone just following the crowd and being ordinary. Instead, they highlight the times people did something unique, something genuinely authentic, even if it was initially viewed as strange. Those unconventional decisions leave lasting impressions, create cherished memories, and build meaningful legacies.
Choosing to follow your own path isn't just about short-term gains or recognition. It's about cultivating a deeper sense of fulfillment, one that can only come from being true to yourself. Whether it’s starting a creative project, exploring a non-traditional career, or just embracing interests and hobbies that others don’t immediately understand, your willingness to be different is what makes your life uniquely meaningful.
This doesn't imply you should intentionally seek to be different for the sake of it2. Rather, the message is to resist suppressing your genuine interests out of fear of judgment. Embrace the courage it takes to follow your true passions because authenticity is the foundation of lasting happiness and fulfillment. In other words, do not expect satisfaction if you are shackled by the expectations and norms you are surrounded by.
Dare to be different. Take the unconventional route if it's where your passion truly lies. You’ll not only achieve greater personal fulfillment, but you'll also inspire others to live authentically. Remember, normal fades into the air, but the courage to be uniquely yourself will always stand out.
Quotes on the importance of individuality:
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." — Friedrich Nietzsche
"If you're anybody at all, man, walk around on your own, and talk to yourself and don't hide away in the chorus. Put up with being laughed at on occasion." — Epictetus
Goal for the Week:
Same goal from a couple of letters ago: Be more adamant about what I want to get done in a day
I had been doing well with this habit, but I lost a couple of weeks ago for whatever reason. I need to get back into the routine of writing down my tasks for the next day before going to bed. It helps me avoid wasting time and keeps me from just sitting around.
Slow Productivity — Cal Newport (70% done)
“High Agency” — George Mack
What I’m listening to (one podcast, one artist, one song):
Greensky Bluegrass
“Stand By Me (Live at The Print Shop)”— Stephen Wilson Jr.
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to subscribe to stay updated for the next edition and feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Take care,
James
If what you want to do in life is considered “normal,” by all means, that is what you should do! However, there are still countless ways to stand out and be exceptional, even within a normal setting.
If you have seen The Bear, the guest on the episode is the creator of the show—a very good podcast that talks about Guidara’s book and what it can teach us about leadership and hospitality.
Be a Shepard not a sheep! Great work James